Best Dad Ever
by Sassy Kames
Summary: Parents!BTR with twins, a daughter and auto correct. May turn into a full fledged story, read my author's notes. :P Kames. T for language and some possible sexual content.


**A/N **This was based off a Damn You Auto Correct. But I added my own stuff to it. Also, whoever is reading my Big Time Babysitter story, please read the AN at the bottom. :) Enjoy!

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**Best Dad Ever**

"Twins, dinner is ready! James, go tell Quinn to come down for dinner." Kendall Diamond told his husband James Diamond as he wiped his hands on a green rag.

James was leaning against the kitchen's long island with a magazine in his hand. "Sure." he replied, flipping the page of his magazine.

Kendall stared at him. "Like today maybe?"

"Babe-"

James didn't finish his sentence though because his two sons bursted into the room, both falling to the kitchen floor. They leaped up though and shouted, "I WON I WON I WON!" when they both realized that they were chanting the same thing, they began an arguement on who clearly won which was both of them but neither would agree on it.

Kendall rolled his eyes and ushered his yapping twins through the kitchen and into the dining room. The boys, one blonde and one brunette, sat in their assigned seats while contiuing their arguement.

When Kendall returned back into the kitchen, it was to find James on his phone. "James, our daughter is not down here yet for dinner. Why?" he questioned while setting his hands on his hips.

"Because I'm in the middle of texting her to come down?" James answered and Kendall rolled his eyes.

"You are so lazy. Now I see where Rocco gets it from."

"Hey!" the outburst not only came from James but also came from further down the two connecting rooms (the kitchen and dinning room). The brunette boy had quit his bickering with his brother as soon as his papa uttered those words.

"Oh hush. Twins, I did put silverware on the table, right?" Kendall called as he went to the stove where a pot of homemade mashed potatoes sat.

"Yeah papa you did." this time it was the blonde twin who spoke.

"Thanks, Axel. James, is Quinn coming?"

"Uhh... she just replied."

"Well?"

"Well... she says she's doing Lauren..."

"Who the heck is Lauren?" Kendall asked as he slid beside his husband and read the texts.

_**7:23 To Quinn: Come down, dinner is ready.**_

_**7:24 To Daddy: Be there in a min, doing Lauren.**_

"I have no idea." James mumbled as he typed in his reply.

_**7:26 To Quinn: Who the fuck is Lauren? If she's your girlfriend, she can come down have some dinner too.**_

"Quinn's a lesbian?" Kendall had a look of puzzlement on his face before squealing. "Ooh, how exciting for her!"

James shrugged before hearing a girl's shriek from upstairs. Seconds later his phone ding.

_**7:28 To Daddy: Daddy! No, I meant laundry! Omg! I'm not a lesbian. Hope this doesn't break papa's heart... :P**_

"Too late." Kendall pouted before walking away, taking the pot of mashed potatoes with him. "Tell her to hurry scurry her butt down here so we can eat."

"Yeah, we're dying of hunger over here!" the brunette Diamond twin whined.

"Rocco, there are millions of people in the world who are actually dying of hunger. You are not one of them. You can wait." the blonde Diamond twin scolded.

_**7:29 To Quinn: That's a shame, sweetie. Men are dicks. Oh and your papa says 'too late'. Now come eat.**_

_**7:30 To Daddy: Lol daddy. You're the best. I'll be down in a sec. :)**_

James chuckled and sent a quick text back before he set his phone down on the counter top of the island and made his way to the dining room. Sitting across from Kendall who was seated at the other end of the table, he said, "Quinn'll be here shortly."

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**A/N **Hope that was entertaining enough. :P

I'm going to keep this (hopefully) brief:

BTB will be continued. I'm going to keep Eve as the one the boys babysit so I don't have to keep making up damn children. They will also switch up so one chapter Kames babysits and another one Cargan babysits. It's mostly Kames though.

Big Time Parents will be its sequel. Just another story of collective one shots. This one (BDE) might as well be one of the one shots since those are the names I've given the Diamond children.

It's one thirty in the morning and if I'm not making sense, pm me and I'll get back with you in the freaking morning.

-Jaya


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